Return iPhone - Be Shunned

I've been a gadget girl for some time, but I feel I've reached a breaking point: I bought an iPhone last week and returned it today. Much to the chagrin of my friends, colleagues and behold--Apple employees.

In the interest of full disclosure, I must state I did not wait in line for the iPhone, but I did drive down to the Apple store when they called and said the one I asked to be put "on the list incase you get any iPhones at that store, remember to write down my name on said list, and then actually have some left by the time you get to the bottom of the list" was waiting for me...for another hour.

That was last Friday. The next day we went to a party and a dinner and a woman asked if she could take a picture of me with the phone--you know, cause no one else would believe that she met someone that actually owned an iPhone. Uncomfortable.

I had a pit in my stomach at that point. I wasn't showing off my phone or telling people I had it. I was almost embarrassed. I felt like maybe I shouldn't have bought the thing. But wait, it's cool, right? And the nifty map feature got us to the party on time when all my fiance brought with him was the address (that's another entry later). Fingers together, then stretch them out. Scroll, scroll, scroll. There it is. But where the hell are we and how do we get there?

I usually call my best friend, Mark, and dish all the dirt/news once or twice a week. Suspiciously, I kept "forgetting" my iPhone at home, missing calls. Rather than calling him and bragging about the phone, I called him today--to tell him I returned it. It was almost cathartic and forgiving. But not before retelling about my walk in the valley of embarrassment--ultimately ending at the Apple store today.

Before I walked down there, I told my co-workers (3 of whom have one) I was returning it. I think they thought I was crazy--why was I returning it? Eh, I'm just going to go return it. I didn't use the iTunes feature at all. I figured a 5th iPod was excessive. Or I was exhibiting a lack of commitment.

I walked in to Apple store..everything seemed to move in slow motion (no kidding). 4 Apple employees behind the counter, and a few others milling. I said "Hi, I'd like to return my iPhone" and began to take it out of the bag. All employees behind the counter turned to me and one of them said "What's wrong with you?" I KID YOU NOT. Not what's wrong with the phone, but what's wrong with ME.

I told them I tried, I really did. Even in my quasi-embarrassed state, I did send emails and surf the web while I was at Frys Sunday. But it wasn't compelling enough for me. The keyboard, sure it gets easier to use (slide and release) as you use it, but there is just something so familiar about a tactile keyboard. Call me old fashioned, but I like my keys clickable. The Apple folks didn't seem to understand. Their retort "Well, the keyboard isn't going to change." AS IF I needed to change to accommodate the iPhone. Oh geesh.

I then lamented about a lack of GPS feature (which I was reminded was not offered on the model--thanks, guys). The map feature is cool, yes, but take it a step further with GPS and tell me where I am so I can get where I need to be. Knowing where you need to go is only half the problem--the other half is knowing where you are when you start. somewhere between 85 and 280, but closer to the surface streets, so I won't know how to get where I'm going unless I know where I am. Simple enough.

So I continued to tell them I just wasn't that in to the phone and I could see the exchange of looks like "boy, I can't believe she's doing this." and "don't you think she'd try to sell it on eBay since we keep running out?" Alas, to keep my dignity, I just said I guess I'm really not a first gen buyer, and look forward to the next rev.

As I walked out of the store, I felt like I was in a bad, teen movie where the cool kids make fun of the lonely geek walking away. I could almost hear the giggles. Made me feel like I don't belong with those Apple folks. Hope that's not the case, since I own more apple products than I do have fingers. They need me! Maybe I'll go back again one day, but for now, I'll stick to my 60GB iPod for my daily Apple (iTunes) a day.