to have (a career) or to hold (a little squishy baby)?

1:08 am - just purchased and upgraded our seats for our honeymoon in Japan. Makes it a bit more real now--something to do AFTER the wedding.

I'm typically a huge worrier (I blame my Dad, the German influence that had me reading military time on my watch at the age of 3). But at least I'm always prepared. But this whole wedding thing has been pretty stress-free. Sure, we hired an awesome designer/planner who also happened to be a UCSB alumnae, and also shares a freakishly similar design ideas and overall aesthetic--a bit creepy but I'm sure she can use elements from her own wedding to make ours just as great.

So dress: done
bridemaids (and groomsmen on my side): done
bridesmaids; dresses: done
ceremony location: done
ceremony date : done
colors : picked
honeymoon location and date: done

we're working on the design elements for the invites, etc. we're trying to go web 2.0 but not thinking my aunt in New Jersey can handle it. So old fashioned invites with a splash of less traditional aspects coming up! and we are confined to 120 folks for the shindig, so making the list fit will be difficult--some people I would like to invite just won't be getting the invites. and conversely, some family "friends" wil be getting invites against my request. Eh, I just want to show up and have a great party.

We did block rooms at some great hotels in the city, and our planner is negotiating our after party at a really great bar in a very nice hotel after the reception ends--we're keeping that party going until 6am--or don't consider yourself a friend :-)

We do tastings next, as well as picking our photographer, which I think we actually agree on! Then comes the cake--yuck. I'll let him pick that since it really doesn't matter to me.

6 months and a few days from now. strange. I'll have a different last name, and a different salutation, and start thinking about having a family. If there was only a way to have your career, a baby, and just have it ALL. As sad as it has become, I am beginning to listen and trust these wise soothsayers, (or career minded women who had kids at the height of their career). Pick one or the other! But why can't I have both? I'm stubborn, assertive, tenacious....oh wait, those traits don't really make me sound like a good mom, do they--just a work-o-holic.